


Meanings

by xiaotuan



Series: Relinquish the Elysium [1]
Category: GOT7, K-pop
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-07 20:03:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19216537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiaotuan/pseuds/xiaotuan
Summary: Sometimes however hard one tries, two people are not meant to be. Instead, the relationship crashes into the dichotomyof being meaningful yet meaningless.





	Meanings

**Author's Note:**

> The first of a few short stories, featuring Got7's Im Jaebum & Park Jinyoung. The series that this belongs to (Relinquish the Elysium) contains short stories that have no connection to one another, unless stated. Most of them are angsty, as my 3 braincells apparently only write sad stuff, so beware of potential tears.  
> I really hope you enjoy this!  
> \- Eli

In the second Jinyoung and Jaebum first met, they both realized that “they” would be forever. The way they could talk for hours and hours without noticing the time, or the way their hands drifted towards each other without even trying to, was proof. The way their bodies fit perfectly together when they lay down to cuddle at the end of a stressful day was a sign that they were meant to be. From the moment their mutual friend, Jackson, set them up on a blind date, it was the meeting of soulmates. It was love.

When Jaebum would shut himself away from the world before releasing new music, Jinyoung would be there to knock on his door, give him some strawberry milk and tell him that everyone would love it just as much as he did. When Jinyoung was sweating with nerves right before the premiere of his latest movie, Jaebum would be there to keep a calming hand on Jinyoung’s back and assure him his acting was amazing. They thought they knew each other inside out, from Jaebum’s favourite brand of bucket hat to wear to his recording sessions, to the exact wine that Jinyoung loved to drink after a long day of filming.

\---

It was during one of Jaebum’s concerts that Jinyoung first picked up the phone to Mark. They had been friends in high school, and although they both had had small crushes on each other, neither knew the other was gay. It happened that Mark had met Yugyeom, another one of Jinyoung’s friends, at a dance competition - he wasn’t surprised, remembering Mark’s legendary dance skills - and they somehow got onto the topic of Jinyoung. How they did, he will never know.  
Instantly, their old friendship reignited, and this time they were both out of the closet. It was obvious to Jinyoung they had a spark, something special. But he was in a perfect relationship, with the love of his life. He knew he could get over his reemerging teenage crush. Because of course, it was just that. A meaningless teenage crush.

It seemed to everyone that nothing was going wrong in their relationship, and Jinyoung and Jaebum would never break up. Something so meaningless as a teenage crush could never break up something as perfect as Jinyoung and Jaebum. But not everything was perfect.

Jaebum would notice how Jinyoung would sometimes buy banana milk instead of strawberry milk, or how Jinyoung stopped using the cologne that Jaebum bought him for his birthday and instead started using a scent Jinyoung knew Jaebum didn’t like much. It was small things, seemingly meaningless, but to Jaebum, the changes in  
Jinyoung were momentous. They knew each other so well that any small change was noticeable.

At first, it was only just small things. Jaebum could brush them off. But Jinyoung started getting busier, every night giving the excuse of “Sorry, filming is taking longer than usual.” But “the usual” now was Jaebum going to bed by himself every night, staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning to greet Jinyoung.

Jaebum wasn’t dumb. He could see the stares that Mark and Jinyoung exchanged when they went out for dinner with their friends on Friday evenings. He knew something wasn’t right. Jinyoung wasn’t dumb either, he knew that Jaebum could see how his and Mark’s hands brushed together just like how his and Jaebum’s did when they first met. Jinyoung knew he was hurting Jaebum. But he didn’t want to hurt Mark either, and his selfishness had ended him up in this situation.

\---

It was just another night of many in which Jinyoung arrived home in the early hours of the morning, with his hair ruffled and lips swollen. As usual, Jaebum was sitting on their shared bed, on his phone and listening to music while waiting for Jinyoung. However, as soon as Jinyoung walked into the bedroom, he could sense something was off. Maybe it was the way that Jaebum was sitting all tense, or maybe is was because Nora, Kunta and Odd were nowhere to be seen when they would usually be curled around Jaebum on the bed.

Jinyoung started to undress and get ready for bed when he heard the faintest whisper.

“Were you with Mark?”

In those four words, Jinyoung could hear all the emotions that Jaebum felt. He could hear the betrayal and the pain. He could also hear the love and heartbreak behind the coldness and the bitterness. Jinyoung could hear in those words how their love was breaking apart. He could hear all the months of loneliness. It was in that moment that Jinyoung realised he was hurting Jaebum and Mark more by holding onto both of them than by cutting ties with one. Yes, heartbreak was one of the most painful things on earth, but dragging it out was much worse.

“I loved you. I still love you. What did I do wrong? Am I not handsome enough? Not talented enough? Not successful enough?” Jaebum’s voice was no longer a frail whisper, but a rasping shout. “Please Jinyoung, can you stop being so fucking indecisive and just pick one of us?”

To an outsider, it looked like Jaebum was seething with anger at Jinyoung. However, that wasn’t how it was. Jinyoung could see the tears in Jaebum’s eyes and the desperation in his voice. He knew that Jaebum rarely swore, unless he was really hurt or really angry at Yugyeom. Jinyoung’s heart was breaking at the thought it was him hurting the man shaking in front of him, whom he loved so much. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but he just couldn’t end it with either Mark or Jaebum. He cared too much for both of them.

“No, that’s not it. I’m sorry Jaebum. I-”

“So what is it then? Why couldn’t you just tell me? You know I love you, yet I still wasn’t worth an explanation. I’m just a meaningless pawn in the story of your life.” 

Jaebum started to laugh bitterly as he fought - unsuccessfully - to keep the tears from streaming down his face. “I guess this is it. This is how we end.” He didn’t know what he had expected, none of his previous relationships had ever worked, why would this one? He had just thought that maybe someone could love him. But they never did. It was obvious from the beginning. Jinyoung hadn’t noticed his dark past. Nobody ever did. All they ever saw was his love for cats, his songwriting skills and his eccentric fashion sense. 

“Please leave.” He couldn’t bear to speak Jinyoung’s name, he knew if he did, he wouldn’t be able to ever let go.

That was the last time Jaebum and Jinyoung ever saw the most meaningful person in their lives.


End file.
